Award Winning TV Writing - The Problem with TV

TV writers are like sailors. Let's picture them as prisoners on a putrid, infested ferryboat; on which they have to tie resisting knots with the dryest, thinnest, thorny vines. All in order to secure that the huge garbage boat doesn't drift away and sinks down with their jobs and salaries.

I mean this with the most sincere and heartfelt empathy for TV writers. Because creatively you couldn't face a major oppression than to be subjected to the working boundaries rich asshole owners decide to impose and execute to accommodate their latest whim. Even against all known functioning laws of the universe.

TV writing is a painful exercise of creating transitions between the most idiotic scenarios, in such a way that it gives the illusion of reality and rationality to these committee-approved advertising chinese finger traps.

But staying only on the craft level, it is hard, tortuous work. To compromise your own principles of integrity and pride for your work. To allow yourself to betray science, or to betray your own values. I guess one way to go about it would be to be bad at it.

I'd take that road, I'd suck at it; I couldn't possibly bring myself to come up with clever, devious workarounds. Seeing my name, or just thinking of my name displayed on the end credits, after a poor, poor and stupidifying story would kill my soul and ambitions. But I might do it, just to survive and pay the bills, and dedicate myself to my hobbies or my own writing, it doesn't have to be gloomy, friend. It can be a way to deal with the surviving part of life and then actually enjoy the rest. As it is, anyway nowadays, a job is more of a burden than a career. So why not milk this easy ride? I'd do it.

Another road would be to try to excel at it. To see how seamlessly I could amalgamate those blocks of pure white moron. See if I could weave my pen through the fabric that constitutes this offence against progress; to do it in such an elegant, inspiring, magnificent way that the blinding lights prevent the viewers from pondering about the ebb of shit behind it all. It will most definitively be a challenge, a taunting exercise just waiting for someone to take it down. That could be fun too. Plus it has an amazing perk, this road is the one chosen at the awards.

Critics love this kind of writing. They throw awards to these hallmarks of the writing muscle. You could actually get rich doing it! People ARE getting rich like this! It's crazy, but it's an option. Of course  you'll have to forfeit the romance that comes inherit to writing. You won't get to stand up for what you believe, you won't be able to write about love the way you see it, your characters will not speak with all the power you could infuse in their fiery speech and their point won't be made. You'd have millions though, you can always give it a go at buying happiness, maybe you'd be the one to succeed at it.

This is why there are always "teams of writers". Have you ever heard of a great book written by a team? Other than technical books, wise guy. I'm talking, short stories, novels, poetry, graffiti. The written word as my expression of mankind. Big TV has writers in kennels, they have guidelines, limits, censorship on every working level, interior and exterior. And they feed them their story directives on a crusty pewter plate, slid under the cell door.

So next time you catch yourself standing up and introverting for a second about why should you believe something that clearly makes no sense to the story (be it bickering, jealousy, wrong answers, explosions, one-liners, judgement; it has different patterns for different genres), or why the dialogue is always over the top sassy or risqué when it's not being as subtle as ninja phytoplancton. Then, remember you can choose to enjoy the smokes and mirrors and shiny lights, it can be fun; or you could get up and try to create something. You, yourself; anything you enjoy will do: a doodle with coal, rearranging some objects, a painting, anything is actually perfect.

This is about the act of creation, a sense brought to us by the tool of art, in it's infinite forms. At least go out and try to find something new, something real to get inspired by or to just to think about for a while, creation doesn't have to be expensive or physical (external), but it is a very rewarding exercise that we should all try for our own sake as a species.

A Question For The Jewish People (It's Not About Gaza)

First of all let me specify clearly who I am calling out for here. I'm talking about the jewish people, the real people. I'm no asking about it's politicians or celebrities, or governments or lobbies. I do not care about that irrelevant minority. I want to speak with those jews who grew up on in a house, a home. Those who had neighborhood friends or foes. Those who since they were kids knew about mom and dad having to work in order to pay the bills. Those who luckily had the choice between saving money and studying real hard to hopefully again work hard; or the other choice of just working really, really hard in order to make a living.

To the jewish people I want to ask: How do you see Zionism and the jewish lobby? And I want to ask you if you are as jewish as I am catholic, that is atheist. If you wish to extend politically to any subject than concerns you,  please do so. I don't wish to judge you, I won't reply nor I will not post a rebuttal, update or any sort of addendum to this particular inquiry. I am just asking you to do me a favour and allow me to quickly take a gaze outside the big, big wall and see if I can get a real look of the political landscape from the people who matter. An honest one. It's all I want to learn.

If I am to be honest myself, I'm pussyfooting. As if walking on eggshells. Because I am afraid to offend you, not as a conspiracy theory international apparatus, but as a friend. As someone I would like to seat down with, have a joint with and talk with. Because all of this constant bickering at international scale weights down like an tsunami of overwhelming noise, beating and beating over my head. And I just want it to stop, for a second, just a small crack on a window of time and space. Right now, and here is a good place. We can take a harmony of a second and just chill. So seriously, all I want to know, jewish people, is how do you feel? Are you ok? I know that  politics are hard on you, and politicians are far, far away from your hands. Feel in total freedom, friend.

I just want to understand you, because in the end we are all in this together and we might just  as well make it a good ride for us all, why not just have peace and learn to cooperate. I know they have armies, they all do. But in the end, it's not about armies or soldiers or collateral damage, it's about the people, us, and we should learn to leave this horrible concepts behind us. We need to take care of things, realize that in reality, it's not about wishing for the rich to decide when it's time to stop the murders, or when will it be enough. To me it's simple, I know that what lies ahead will be hard, but goddamn it! We've have hard all our life for breakfast and dinner. It's all we do since we are born, we struggle. How about one last push and get it over with?

I don't want to pressure you, jewish people, it's not your burden to do this alone, au contraire, I'm saying that we all have to do it, everywhere in the world, and free our families from this cancerous relations. Let us not concern about artificial boundaries such as religions, countries or nations. Let us embrace all of our diversity and consider the magnificent spectrum of points of view we all have together as one people to solve common problems, it is the best tool mankind has for progress. But progress and evolution will only be possible with freedom and peace.

But I digress. Regardless of what you believe, and considering the cultural gap that supposedly separates us, I identify with your day to day struggle to survive and pass through life with dignity and justice, against all odds; more so if it's your choice to do it with your own family. Let us not allow that outside noise permeates the real bond between workers of the world, let us not allow it to pollute our ignorance with tales of hate and poison. Just as much as we won't allow it to justify greedy aristocratic lies which are heart-breakingly against life and family, against our own, which we are all.

Jewish people, what I am trying to say is that you don't really need to say anything unless you want to say something, about anything. We are all friends and family here in our blue house orbiting the Sun. I know you've had it hard, and we support you, as we support all the families enduring wars and it's outcome, those who face wars of greed will always have our sympathy and our defense, our hearts and our sword, regardless of race, religion or nationality. In the end I just want you to know that we are all also struggling day after day, we are brothers in our strength to carry on, working hard and doing as good as we can with our close ones and everyone, including our neighbors, specially in times of need.

BREAKING NEWS: Seismographic Report From Costa Rica. While High.

Costa Rica. Tuesday 8th, January 2009. Early Afternoon.

I was checking out stuff on reddit and then I felt quite a shake. An earthquake. As I said, I was high. Good weed, the kind you smoke on a small minimalistic pipe, because it's expensive and you really don't need too much of it anyway. A very nice high, mind you. I was quite a few tokes into the substance when the Earth began it's dance. An earthquake. Or tremor, to avoid sensationalism.

It felt like a wave. Like surfing on a thick ocean, riding my house. I never went outdoors, so that might have contributed to that feeling. Sometimes it shook and shimmied, quite fiercely.

Unidentified objects began to crick and crack form all corners of the house. So I stood up from my chair and headed for the doorway. This is a tremor safety thing, stand below the doorway... It's all the security information I can come up with in our present conundrum, so I oblige.

I never actually got under it, or really a distance you might call close, because as I walked towards it the ground started to wobble. Like a massive, tectonic plate sized bowl of jello. And it felt nice, sometimes abrupt because of the force but always circular, always flowing in it's motion. It was the feeling you get when at the beach, when big and fast waves are coming in and you try to resist them, to face the ocean and endure it's elemental strength. You feel puny, an insignificant opponent. "Négligeable" as french scientist say. You voluntarily take on a force that is so vast and ample that it overwhelms your brain's sense of scale, and for a moment you step out of your homo-centrist (ego, is you will) point of view and realize the little chimp you truly are in the middle of a lava surfing vast mass of land. It's just a glimpse of it all, but damn science and nature are fascinating! No wonder my brain overflows whenever I try to reconcile my human sense of scale to space masses and sizes. And before I know it, it's all over. It has stopped just as it started.

It did lasted quite a while. I mean maybe not even a minute. But 45 seconds of a furious massive beast, shaking under your being, tend to have a somewhat longer lasting feeling. It's quite a rush in a way, when you are not taken over by fear and are actually open to new interpretations, extraordinary or fantastic experiences start to make sense. Although I wouldn't really endorse the scientific use of those alleged  "45 seconds" mentioned above.

Ring.Ring. More like a beep nowadays, one that always disrupts my peace. This time, my aunt calls me and I'm still high, this is quite a few minutes after the main seismic event. Normally I don't answer calls with numbers that I don't recognize or come up as "Private". Now, given the circumstances, I thought it could have been a worried family member.... and in this extraordinary situation... it is only decent to... answer the phone..... So I do.

We start to talk and all of the sudden this would be annoying, avoided, family call has become a very enjoyable conversation and we are cracking jokes and laughing about the fumblin' and stumblin' she went through on her seismic misadventures. It was fun. Everybody's ok. She is after all kinda cool, my aunt. Go figure.

Of course after a while I do get curious and turn on the TV. Actually, it was on, I just didn't noticed. I just changed the channel to the local news stations to get some hard facts.

BUMMER. TOTAL bummer. Houses and buildings with significant damage, very very few with structural damage. Scattered shards of glass on the floor and people with their hands fixed on their love-handles shaking their heads. That's sad man. Oh! 13:19 was the official time, 6,3 degrees on the Richter scale. It did feel like quite a shake.

Oh man! They were in the middle of the live news show when it happened! Hahaha! The old, fat lady really kept her cool. Respect lady, well done. The little guy next to her was clearly wetting himself. He wanted frantically to run away, poor guy. He gave his best and at least stayed in the place.. twitching and making funny faces.

Oh crap! there were some foreign students hiking on the volcano. That's mean... I think they said north-americans.  I hope they're ok. I mean if I was a student in another country, studying an active volcano, ON the actual active volcano and the land below me (the volcano) started to shake and grumble and moan... I would be afraid... and I'm being dominated by vanity on that statement. They were british. 6 or so of them. I just imagine them more pale and with reddish hair. The above still applies to them of course.

And then there was a reporter from the other news channel just freaking out, from the inside, imploding in terror urging me to "stay calm". He nostrils flaring like a 1/4 mile hot-rod, and his respiration in synch with a victorious cheetah.

I feel a few shakes every now and then, or at least I think I do. Sort of like if I was drunk, but I'm not. I'm high. As I type the experts confirm my doubts: I'm not that high. And I'm not that paranoid either. Some news actors were confirming that more shakes are happening and more are to come, and they might be also quite strong, so "brace yourselves".

They have reports and suspect that the epicenter of it all was up north in the country. I still feel a lot and continuous after-shocks. Also I hear the house cracking every now and then, which kinda, pseudo, micro, freaks me out. But I can handle it.

Then my father calls, he is vacationing in the US with some family and friends. He is a geologist and an overall great guy. So he starts with the mandatory "is everyone ok" head count and then proceeds to tell me about a place between two volcanoes, a fault line (I had to look up the translation) that goes through this river (or something) and, well, I felt informed, he is quite a smart guy.

Right now: A considerable aftershock, a mellow earthwave at much, though, no worries.

So after all, or for now, places had problems, decorations fell to the ground very few roads had problems, and I believe a couple hydroelectric damns had "small filtrations", but everyone accounted for checks out as "fine" (this includes schools, hospitals, retirement houses, cemeteries, A-OK). So it's cool.

Oh Man! The news-puppet, talking with national seismographic experts  just, confirmed every single word my dad told me. Now they are "interviewing" regular people and closing up on people's teary eyes. Give'em a break!

- NEWS DUMMY: "Did you feel the earthquake?"
- Hospital worker: [sarcastic, borderline P.C. look] "Who didn't, man! HAHAHAHA"

That made my day. Signing out!

UPDATE. Friday, January 9th.

The capital, where I live, was not attained by the earthquake as much as other areas north in the country. Most of yesterday's news reports came from within the central area.

Today reports surface from the most damaged areas and estimates range from tens to dozens of dead people. Cattle has been lost as well as plantations. Small towns have greatly suffered and in some cases up to 30 or so houses have been completely destroyed. Landslides have destroyed important communication roads and trapped vehicles under debris. It is without a doubt a very tragic scenario and my heart breaks with the images of hardworking families trying to deal with this overwhelming reality.

Right now rescue operations are taking place and families are coping with their material and human loss. Small towns are being entirely evacuated into temporary shelters and people are still missing. My heart, as well as the rest of the population's, is with them.

So far the national news channels are not reporting anything about the consequences on our neighboring countries, I hope our Central American brothers are safe from this catastrophe or at least managing the crisis.

Memoman's Turbo Chile - The Recipe (Method)

I am a proud member of the non-legitimized international union of hot chile lovers. Hot, spicy, mouth burning chile.

Food without it just isn't the same, it's just not complete without the brimstone touch of the hell vegetable. When you are out eating at a restaurant or somebody elses house, do you long for the juicy acid of the lava-berry? I know I do.

The pale corporate bottles don't even come close to the pure, real fruit from the earth. To me it's about enjoying the flavour of nature in one of it's most interesting wavelengths of taste. And no pre-manufactured, PR-researched and mass-mediated product can satisfy my very specific needs. I meant flavour, but usually their sauce is pretty weak too, I know how much ignite I can take and so far very  few places can achieve the number of degrees necessary in a mixture to sublimate my tongue.

I love chile pepper, and that is why I have my own recipe. But it's more than a recipe, it's a method, which encourages, above all, experimentation; following your cooking instincts and nuances, because as I said before, only YOU know what is best for YOU.

So I will present you with my way and my process. You can take whatever you find interesting or helpful as a launching pad for your very own chile expression.

• INGREDIENTS:

• Some Garlic: Garlic tends to dominate the flavour, so I only use very little for the spicy kick it has, in small quantities garlic really balances out the equation and unifies the taste of all the ingredients. In this example I used only two small garlic cloves.

• A lot of Chile Peppers: I got some of Panama's Chile Chombo, which is quite hot and has a robust taste, for some it's a bit too much, for me it's ok. I got a mixture of both green and red in here, some prefer green, some red, I like them both and their respective general chartactertistics: green is more plant-like and has more sting, red is more dense and lasting.

• I also asked my vegetable-store-guy for some other surprises he might have in the back, and he gave me these really small, berry-like crimson chile peppers, that are just little drops of demon tears. YUM! I would encourage you to find local organical growers to get your chile peppers, they have the best and healthiest supply and are usually pretty goddamn nice people too.

• Onions: Onions serve the purpose of giving body to the final paste, to homogenize the consistency of the final product. Don't add too much though as it might weaken the hellfire/ml ratio. I used a small/medium sized one.

• Vinegar: Enough to unify the ingredients into a paste without making it too liquid. It's taste is really strong so too much of it can really hurt the flavour. I used about two or three shot glasses worth of it.

• Ground Black Pepper: This is a very personal addition of mine, I really like the taste of black pepper on meat and fried eggs, so I added it once to my chile recipe and have enjoyed it ever since. Sprinkle some into the mix, to your taste. About 5 to 1, compared to salt.

• Salt: A BIG pinch of it, to make the final conjuncture more tasty.

• Sugar: A small pinch, to neutralize just a bit the acid taste from the vinegar. Just a bit, feeling the acid is part of the Turbo experience.

• PREPARATION:

• Chop, dice and slice all that is chop-able, dice-able and slice-able.

• I do garlic in small tiny pieces and then I squish it down with a spoon to make it almost into a translucent paste. I really hate biting into a big chunk of uncooked garlic.

• Throw everything together into the blender and... blend it until it's a somewhat chunky, somewhat homogenized paste. As a word of advice, do not touch the chopped peppers with your hands while chopping or getting them into the blender, because you will get the hot substance in your hands and you might inadvertently wipe your eyes or mouth or nose, and then you'll be entering a world of pain. A world of pain.
  

• Finally get most of the stuff out from the blender, find a container for it and give it a taste! If you smell it you'll notice that it has quite a strong vinegar smell, don't worry about it, it took me by surprise too the first times but then I got used to it. Vinegar seems to dominate the sense of smell, but overall it will taste great.
  

Also, you'll notice that I splashed only around a big spoon-full al over my food. Thrust me when I tell you that at least for my example that is quite enough, this stuff it's insanely hot. Last night my friends came over, one of them is quite the chile aficionado as well, and even though I warned him that he was putting too much, and even though he acknowledged and cutback on it, he still got burned for quite a while after NOT finishing his sandwich.

So there you go, my take on hot chile pepper paste. It's not a step-by-step recipe, it is more of a guide for you to throw in or discard elements and steps at your will, and experience with spices, or different kinds of peppers or things that I won't even think of right now. As you can see I'm not a professional cook, but I do enjoy cooking and chile. So I hope this helps as a boost to your gastronomic independence and enjoyment. Have fun!